I Am A Man!
by School Escapee
Summary: Chopper needed a way to be manly and some helpful tips from Robin give him an idea of what he has to do... the wrong one. Reindeer in lingerie, anyone? Made for a contest, no judging... No pairings set in stone. just some fluff.


CHOPPER CENTRIC! ... BITCH! (mental note for T rating...) Anywho... I have to do this in a hurry. I only have a few hours before the contest is over. Basically, it's a story about _ THATS RIGHT BITCHES! YOU HAVE TO READ TO FIND OUT! ... (makes mental note to be M rated...) Hints of ZoroxSome one on the crew who's a guy so it's yaoi. :P

* * *

"Alright now listen. When I said "DON'T MAKE A SCENE!" I meant it!" Nami shrieked as the Strawhats ran down one of many alleys in an attempt to loose the marines. Zoro and Sanji had gotten into another pointless arguement and ended up smashing into some merchant table displays... needless to say they were both sporting fashionable bumps the size of a fist... Nami's in particular and were currently hosted over Franky's shoulders.

"Yohohohoho~" Brook chimed in earning a glare.

"Navigator-san?" Robin asked politely while running. "Wouldn't it be much easier to simply end the chase through... other means?" Robin trailed off as a dark aura surrounded her and a light smirk covered her face.

"Uuhh.. let's stick to running Robin. I'd rather not have our bounties raised..." Nami said, Robin always giving her the creeps from time to time as if to remind her that no one on their crew is normal.

"Bounty... raise...?" Chopper mumbled to himself before remembering his measly 50 beli bounty. "GWOOOOOOO! " Chopper yelled in determmination before turning around and biting down on a Rumble Ball.

XxXxXxX

Chopper sat on the Sunny's staircase with tears welling up at the corner of his eyes and a bump on his head as Nami yelled at him not to be so reckless and that it's probably from hanging out with Luffy too much and she knows he's smarter than that and she as to limit the time Luffy and Usopp should spend with him to not make him the third stooge, not letting him get a word in edge-wise.

After a few minutes worth of scolding, Nami gave in to his genuinely sorry face and Chopper sulked off into the infirmary after promising to her that he was fine. After a few seconds of sitting in silence, he took off his hat and looked into a mirror to examine the cut he got. Durring the fight, one of the bullets _grazed_ his head (thankfully missing his hat) but he kept it secret so Nami wouldn't get madder out of worry.

"That won't be too hard to stitch.." he mumbled softly before hearing a knock on the door and frantically grabbing his hat to cover the wound before saying in a shrill voice "Co-Come in!"

The door slowly creaked open and a head of Green hair poked in, followed by a tan muscular body.

"Zoro!" Chopper said in surprise as he tried to wipe away the look of guilt so that the master at face reading wouldn't sense anything.

Zoro raised an eyebrow at him before saying "I'm not feeling too well. Think I might have... a fever." he said, having paused to think of a good illness.

"Ohh." Chopper said with an imediate look of worry. If it were bad enough for Zoro to willingly come in for a check up, it must've been pretty serious! Chopper immediately ran over to the droors to find the thermometer as Zoro took a seat. "So... Why'd you fight today? Nami told us to run." Zoro said "casually".

Chopper continued looking and without looking back answered "I.. wanted to raise my bounty."

"... Is that so." Zoro said with slight amusement and a grin. "Those things are over-rated anyways. They don't raise by your strength, just by the trouble you cause."

Chopper stopped looking for it and slowly turned around. Zoro's grin quickly faded when he saw the tears welling up in Chopper's eyes, lowering his head in shame, hoping the rim of his hat would cover his eyes. "But.." Chopper started to say, pausing to sniff the tears back up. "I wanna be a man too."

Zoro gripped the top of Chopper's hat and pushed it up so they were seeing eye to eye, and said with an emotionless face "You don't need a damn piece of paper to say that you're a man. You're a man and you better be confident in it or it won't be true. Confidence makes the man."

Chopper paused to wipe away the tears and snot before giving a determined face. "I'm a man!" he yelled in determination. Zoro gave a light smirk before oening up the door and stepping out. "I feel better now." he said before closing the door.

"... So do I." Chopper mumbled with a cheery grin before getting out the stitches for his first "manly" scar.

XxXxXxX

At the next island, Chopper was determined to prove his manliness. The biggest question was how to do that... "Robinnnnn!" Chopper called, running towards her.

"Yes, doctor-san?" Robin asked, putting down her book and coffee, giving him her full attention.

"BITCH! Calling me doctor doesn't make me happy at all!" he squealed with joy before remembering his original goal. "Oh yeah. Robin. How do you show manliness?" he asked with wide, curious eyes.

Robin chuckled at the little happy dance he did but her smile grew greater at the question asked, imagining what she could make the poor innocent reindeer do lke a puppet before shaking away the dark thoughts and focusing on a proper answer. "Well... It's manly when he saves the damsel in distress." Robin answered.

"But you and Nami don't need saving." Chopper said with a pout.

Robin smiled and said "I suppose you're right Doctor-san. Being a man means that you're willing to put u with life, no matter how had it is and live on. ... But some women find it manly when men swallow their pride and do something humiliatingly feminine. It shows that they're confident in their masculinity." she explained with a sweet smile.

Chopper had a slight look of confusion on his face as he prosessed the new information given. "Soooo... wearing a dress is... masculine?" Chopper asked, head spinning in pure delusion.

"I wouldn't go to such an extreme as that Doctor-san although you're welcome to try." She said, smiling.

Chopper stood thinking for several seconds before he remembered one time Zoro went to pick up his wieghts and when he bent over, Chopper saw he was wearing red laced panties. He thought it was funny so he asked Usopp and Usopp just laughed and said Zoro was in an adult situation. "What about their underwear?" he said, giggling at the thought.

Robin let a laugh escape her before nodding her head in aproval and a grin. "Perfect."

XxXxXxX

Chopper trotted trough town with an overwhelming amount of people in the plaza around him. Nami had given him money for a medical book so he brought the cheapest one there and, since Robin had been so kind as to give him her money, telling him to "Go with the most expensive kind" and he would more than happily ablige. 'Today, I become a man'

After a strange old lady gave him directions to the store, he was floored by how many to choose from there were. He immediately skipped over the "Granny Panties" until he got to a section called "Lingerie". A lot of girs must shop at that store though, there were school girl costumes and cheerleader costumes, swim suits, then further down there were bras, then at the very end there was finally panties.

Chopper looked through them all before he saw one at the corner of his eye that was just amazing. It was the color of cherry blossoms, and had a strange embroidery that seemed to dance when light around it was shifted. Chopper stared at it and it was almost hypnotic. He could only pray that it fit or else he'd be uber pissed but when he went to try it on, it wouldn't stay on, his legs being too narrow.

He was practically about to scream before having the idea to turn human form and he once again held his breathe. Surprisingly, it not only fit perfectly, it felt amazingly comfty. He put on his pants over it and shifted back to his regular form only to find that the panties once again didn't fit, unlike his shirt and pants, strangely enough. "I'll have to stay in human form when I wear them..." he thought aloud. It was no big deal though. Personally, he thought he looked cooler in human form anyways.

XxXxXxX

Chopper walked back to the ship with a swagger worthy of a king, his chest held high along with his head, making him look very intimidating to random citizens.

When he got back, he pulled down the corner of his pants to show Robin the panties with a huge satisfied grin and she aplauded his choice and suggested he show it to the other crew members. "Wah. No! Nami will get angry at me and Zoro will find out I knew! This is our secret! I'm a man now!" He said, the last part to himself as a pep talk, making him squeal in excitement.

He walked downstairs with a satisfied but tired grin and lied down on his pillow before immediately sitting back up, wincing in pain. The cut he had stitched up suddenly began to sting even though he was sure he didn't lie on it. "Ahhhhh..." he groaned as the pulsing ache continued and he rushed to a mirror to examine it. It was puffy and swollen with a strange blackish discolorment... Had he forgotten to disinfect it before sewing it up? That's right! Zoro came in and he had only put on a little, if not any!

He'd have to cut the stitches while being sensitive to the swollen area, disinfect, apply ointment for a few days, disinfect again, then resew it now all because of a rookie mistake. 'Be a man!' he reminded himself, wincing in pain as he cut the stitches and grazed his sensitive skin.

"Hey Chopper. Robin said you wanted to tell me something important." Zoro said, opening the door to find him cutting the stitches to the infected wound that he "never got".

"... Didn't you say you were fine? Chopper, that looks like a bullet got you right in the head! A bulletwound is serious enoguh whether it hit you directly or not but to the head?" Zoro rambled on as a worried look went on his face, checking the wound himself despite knowing nothing medical.

"It's fine Zoro. I'm a doctor AND an adult! I can handle it. It was just a scratch. The puffing is just... the first stage of the the medication! And... the reason I'm removing the stitches is because you need to replace them every day!" Chopper explained with his crappy and obvious of a lie explanation.

"... Huh. Is that how stitches work?" Zoro said, running his fingers along the scar on his chest and the stitches. "Huh. Been doing that wrong." he said, shrugging his shoulders before walking out of the room, not giving it a second thought. He popped his head back in one more time though and said "You sure you're fine?"

"I'm positive. It's nothing to worry about." Chopper assured. When he heard Zoro leave, he let out a sigh of relief. "Being so mature is hard..." he said, wincing as he cut the stitches.

XxXxXxX


End file.
